Serendipitous Musings

Posts tagged ‘analysis’

1.2.3.4.5. I think I’ll make it. So shall you. 

1. Inner peace is not over-rated. 
You know what. I am having an existential crisis. And I am the independent girl you would like to call when you are in crisis. I have always thought meditation and looking for peace is over rated. Trust me it is not. Yes I do feel awkward sitting by myself trying to chant “Om Shanti Om, I am a peaceful soul.” Because clearly I am not. I try to calm my demons every now and then and there they are dancing around fire ignoring my attempts for serenity and laughing right back at me and when I get exhausted, I enjoy their company. Let inner peace take a backseat. 
2. Comfortably Numb.
This feeling of being comfortably numb is as addictive as coffee. One just craves to be there if you’re going either way. Happiness comes with *Conditions Apply. And when moving on towards sadness, comfortably numb is an alluring destination. We don’t realize that there’s no destination in life, it is a journey with stations to stop by. But you know I keep missing my trains often. 
3. I am a needy girl but I won’t accept this fact. 
I am a normal girl (well not exactly normal). I want a good career. I like to be independent but at the same time, I have the same dreams like any stereotypical girl, that I often judge. I do crave having a relationship. I do wish for a guy to pamper me with clichéd romantic gestures. I do wish to have a perfect relationship with my girlfriends, have nightouts, pajama parties, sleep overs and gossip sessions. Instead I hide behind this statement, “I find all of this boring, reading books is my escape” well books are indeed my escape but these things are not boring. I just call them boring because I don’t get to do all of this. I like to have attention. When people appreciate me for my work, for my strength I like it. I don’t take criticisms really well but I am learning to. I am fairly independent yet not so independent. I fight my own battles yet I like someone to be around just to listen to me. I might say I am okay even when I am not but then I will tell you everything that bothers me if you say you have time to listen to me when I ask “do you have time? Can I rant a little?” 
I know I can manage everything in life because I have been doing that. But that doesn’t negate my needs and desires which I often mock at just to make myself feel comfortable. I am a needy girl but I won’t accept this fact. 
4. I think I’ll make it anyway.
Despite 1,2,3 I still think I can make it because I do have the best people in life. I do have the best of books to depend on. I do have an amazing family and career and teachers. Romance is not everything I am told. Maybe someday I will start living without the desire for romance because trust me rest everything I have. 
5. Why are you reading this? What you shall gain by reading about a girl like me?
You’re reading this because we’re all made of the same stardust and I want you to know that we all have our shortcomings, some we accept, some we don’t. But we all make it anyway. We all are blessed in so many ways even when we all have been broken at one point. Let’s just hold on to our dear ones and twist our lives through because walking straight is not our thing after all these years. 

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Turning Point

Hello Readers, I know it’s a bit weird to critically analyse one’s own blog and make a post about it. However, no matter what, here I go.

So, why did I start the blog in the very first place. To be honest, it was fate/coincidence or accident perhaps. It was a result of various discussions with a friend of mine who writes and his writings are supremely awesome or I should say his visions are spectacular.
Anyhow, I created this thing called “euphoricbeing” on 28th March 2014. It’s been almost an year and the actual craze for blogging came into being in the past few weeks, that too because of another friend of mine known as Mr. Awesomeness on WordPress. How I treated this blog in the first months is very different from how I am presently treating it. This blog became my diary and I used to muse here my immature writings, not that I’ve matured now in terms of writing, however, I’m learning. What I have found is that there is neither clarity, nor a specific topic in these write ups. They are primarily musings which are sometimes so beautiful and deep and other times lame and flat. Sometimes I felt it got redundant too, however, I continued posting, even though it was getting repetitive, I knew this fact, however, was not so watchful of it. (Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows)
a) This blog had just 3 followers till Oct 2014.
b) All three were my friends, and it didn’t matter.
This blog has acted like my diary till now. However, now after making 111 posts, this being my 112th post. I want this post to be a turning point for this blog. Enough of emotions, thoughts, philosophy of life, loneliness, fantasy, getting lost in dreams, love, sensuality, random musings. I wish to make this blog an interesting site to read, not that it wasn’t interesting earlier, just wish to add some spice for a while, because as they say, we should do what we do best, however, it’s okay to deviate and explore. I wish to get out of my comfort zone and start experimenting a little. Hence, this post is open to all sort of feedback: good/bad, both; suggestions and anything and everything. Thanks a ton!
In the end, I would like to thank all my friends, Shiva, Kanika, Aakriti, Varun, Ishan, Bhumika, Ketan, Mitanshi, Aishwarya, Gargi, Shivani, Swati, Niharika, my mom and various others who used to read all my poems and have inspired me and motivated me all the time and continue to do so. Oh God, I so much sound like I’ve won an award or something, so nothing like that. Simply happy and grateful to all! 🙂
Cheers!!!