Delhi, my city.
Dilli, ishq hai.
I have always wanted to explore Delhi for the longest time but when you’re in your own city, you don’t explore the beauty of it because there’s always assignment to be submitted, work to be done, and sleep to catch upon. After years of trying to get someone to accompany me to be a Traveller in my own city, I was blessed to come across a beautiful human being who was willing to give in to the wishes of a girl like me and it was a date. When we use the word date, we often expect romance, however there was something beyond romance in this date and that cannot be put into words. How do you put across sharing stories close to you in appropriate words, what are we if not stories?
Delhi has a soul which many people don’t explore. Visiting a monument and reading about it’s history in the lush green Mughal Gardens and then having a silent reading meet in the sun is a perfect way to spend time with someone in my world.
Delhi is too good to be true in winters.
There’re a lot of things I realized today. After spending time as a traveller I met a friend of mine who flew from London to spend sometime home and if I could sum up my time with her, it would be that in life sometimes you come across people who are not people but home.
Thank you for making me feel blessed and loved. And I wish that all my readers find home. There’s nothing better than some soul filling conversations and hugs while the winter breeze flows through the hair as we walk through lonely lit roads in areas of Delhi which feel like another world.
To love and life.
I have been pretty dormant with writing lately because I felt that my writings were getting repetitive and there was a loss of craft. One should stop writing when you know you’re not writing anything new or unique.
I don’t write fictional. I write what I feel, I write about the people I meet, I write about daily routine things that go around me and how I feel about them and package it for you to read them. And I have people in my life who validate that maybe someday I could be a writer but you know one should always be critical of themselves in order to learn and grow.
I remember being called as the “Happiness In-charge” in my group of friends because I didn’t care about the world. I used to do my own thing and be happy always. I remember being in depression and coming out of it on my own because I never stopped believing the beauty of the universe. I remember being a child always with maturity of a headstrong woman you would be afraid to mess with. But then I grew up.
I started feeling the need to be an adult when I turned 21. I remember thinking about life seriously. I remember letting insecurities take birth. I remember not being impulsive anymore. I remember not following my heart because it didn’t seem like a rational thing to do. I was being told that you need to grow up and be an adult but then I have realized that being an adult is tough when you let the kid inside you lock up and ask it to shut up. That’s where the kid gets sad and lonely and insecure that it affects your ability to be a successful adult. We are not born to follow a certain path that the society has expectations from us to follow. I have played my life safely throughout yet I remember taking risks wherever I could and being a happy being.
As time went by, my insecurities increased, I went into an abyss of self doubt, uncertainty scared me and future worried me. I forgot to live in the moment. I remember taking myself out on dates and I remember not needing any company to enjoy my time. I remember being called “the solitary bird” who could not care less and yet loved so deeply that everyone who came my way, smiled.
I happen to write this today because I took myself out on a date after ages and I met the girl who I had lost in the process of growing up. It’s not the time that’s passing by, it’s you and I.
Life becomes beautifully simple and easy to handle only if we stop seeking love outside and become love that we are. I forgot to love myself in between the time I was busy learning to grow up and behave like an adult. I can ace my research papers and career while I can enjoy Disney movies and sipping hot chocolate and be fit too because I love who I am and who I am becoming. And yes companionship is beautiful but if you don’t get it, doesn’t mean you have to be sad. I have been a part of quite a few toxic friendships and relationships but that does not mean I stop believing in the beauty and power of love. Time waits for none. Happiness seems scary but it’s pretty like the winter mornings.
Winters bring hope and warmth in life. Let’s bask in the morning sun and smile because that is what really matters.
Have a good day and take yourself out on a date. It’s quite fun. 😉
Till next time!
I was never a person who would read multiple books because I had problems keeping a track. I have realised that it is in my own hands to take care of my concentration power. Recently I have had phases where I experienced Writers Block and Readers Block. To say that I am out of both is wrong, not entirely though. I have been writing but it’s majorly random scribbles like this one where all I talk about is daily mundane stuff but since it generates certain emotions and hence it is here. I can not write until and unless I feel something. It’s been 10 days since I have isolated myself from being a social butterfly and focusing on my growth. I have never been able to figure out whether I am an extrovert or an introvert. You may call me an Ambivert but someone told me that you’re either an introvert or an extrovert, there’s no in between but I see shades of grey and not the black and white of the things. However, this statement has got me thinking. What conclusion I have got, I have no clue. The thing is that ever since I am in a shell of my own, I have been ambitious and relaxed, I am such a paradox. Am I focusing too much on myself? Maybe. But who doesn’t. Everyone cares about themselves first.
In these 10 days, I have took to too much reading (woah.. alliteration)
I have been reading multiple books, two novels, various short stories by different authors, an epic called MahaBharata, poetry and ofcourse my text books and strangely, I have been able to keep a track of everything and my dreams are a mixture of all of them and I don’t know where I am heading but I am just loving everything. Without focusing on virtual conversations, I meet people in real and love to listen to them share things. I feel really glad that people find me trustworthy and share their things with me, listening to people gives me different perspectives. However with my best friends I force them to listen to me, you see, I talk a lot too. There’s a friend of mine who often tries to lecture me and I tell her that dude shut up, I am not listening to you but I sometimes wish I did. Apart from reading, I have been watching a lot of new shows and listening to music and I like it here. Peaceful, calm and lovable. Life feels worth it. But why am I sharing it all here if I am happy in my shell? You see, I haven’t talked much recently and I like to talk right now. So I thank all my readers for reading this because I have seen that all those posts which I don’t edit and just publish connect more because deep down we all are one. I may not know you but I might connect to you and we might interact someday and you could be my dear friend. Would you like it? I would. 😀