Not a Bollywood Fan, Yes, a Bollywood Lover. Judging me much?

Hello Readers,

Image result for srk in dil se

I hope you are doing well and had a beautiful weekend. So without giving an elaborate context to this post, I will come straight to the point.

I don’t like to watch movies a lot because they are extremely time-consuming and sometimes the movie turns out to be a total waste of few hours of my life where I could do some other constructive stuff. However, I absolutely love Bollywood songs and I am never “not listening to music”. Be it songs of Kishore Kumar, Geeta Dutt, Mukesh, Mohammad Rafi, Jagjit Singh, Talat Aziz, AR Rahman, Arijit Singh, Atif Aslam, KK, Sonu Nigam, Lata Mangeshkar and so many. However, whenever it comes to watching movies, I am very lazy. There are a few movies which I absolutely love and just keep rewatching them again and again and again. My list of favorite Bollywood movies includes DDLJ, Kal Ho Na Ho, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham and similar kinds of movie where SRK plays the dream romance character. I love all those movies where romance is a perfect fairy tale. And SRK is synonymous with the term love and romance for me. All my favorite Bollywood songs are mostly love songs. A lot of my close friends do not like Shah Rukh at all while here I am crushing over him almost all the time. I don’t love all his movies though, heck I haven’t even watched all of them but my love for him is just unexplainable in words. I feel hurt when my friends don’t appreciate him and I know it is wrong on my part because we are all entitled to our own choices because I also don’t connect with a lot of things they connect with.

So yeah, I am not a Bollywood fan yet I love Bollywood for giving movies like Dil Se. Why I am talking about just Dil Se? Because I watched it and it made me go gaga over SRK and my friends gave such reactions that here I am on my blog writing absolutely random shit because yeah my blog, I can express my views. Hehehe. Anyway, I know a lot of you might have a lot of negative things to say about this post and a lot of hardcore SRK fans would be judging me for loving SRK on the basis of a few movies and not all of the incredible work he has done. My sincere apologies to both the groups of readers. There is no point in writing this blog post. The only thing you gotta take away from this post is that there is one amateur writer who is fangirling over SRK just because she watched a movie of his over the weekend.

Btw Fun Fact:

Amateur is a word derived from Latin word, Amar, which means love, love.

And it literally translates to doing things for the love of it.

This is the best thing I have learned today.

And I watch the SRK movies for the love of SRK and wrote the blog post for the love of it.

-AN AMATEUR IN ALL POSSIBLE WAYS

P.S. I know the thoughts represented here are not structured at all and I am in no mood to get them structured or edit it. Ignore the Grammar errors if you spot any. Listen to good songs and enjoy your Sunday! Toodles! 😀

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How I spent the first romantic day of 2018

I woke up to chilly winds and beautiful sky. I was busy taking in the cold outside and got late for college and providing some more gratitude to the traffic jam, had a sassy moment with my professor. I ended up reaching to the class before my professor did while we both were stuck in the same jam. It was kinda cool.

And in the first break, abandoning my bag and other belongings in the classroom on 3rd floor, I went to the garden and it was drizzling, I removed my shoes and walked barefoot on wet grass making my feet feel chilly and then I called up my mom because I felt like talking to her about how romantic the weather is and she being a savage sassy mother shut me up with her wit and made me rethink the idea of Romance.

I bunked my last lecture to read about the city I love the most and sat on the wet grass in touch with the universe and nature. I didn’t feel cold because sometimes warmth of the words is enough and then I went to the lake on my way back home and ended up taking a 2 hour walk around the trees and the lake watching the sunset.

When you’re in love, you feel things differently and then for momentarily you just become love. All you radiate is love. That’s who I became today.

Happy Winters People!

1.2.3.4.5. I think I’ll make it. So shall you. 

1. Inner peace is not over-rated. 
You know what. I am having an existential crisis. And I am the independent girl you would like to call when you are in crisis. I have always thought meditation and looking for peace is over rated. Trust me it is not. Yes I do feel awkward sitting by myself trying to chant “Om Shanti Om, I am a peaceful soul.” Because clearly I am not. I try to calm my demons every now and then and there they are dancing around fire ignoring my attempts for serenity and laughing right back at me and when I get exhausted, I enjoy their company. Let inner peace take a backseat. 
2. Comfortably Numb.
This feeling of being comfortably numb is as addictive as coffee. One just craves to be there if you’re going either way. Happiness comes with *Conditions Apply. And when moving on towards sadness, comfortably numb is an alluring destination. We don’t realize that there’s no destination in life, it is a journey with stations to stop by. But you know I keep missing my trains often. 
3. I am a needy girl but I won’t accept this fact. 
I am a normal girl (well not exactly normal). I want a good career. I like to be independent but at the same time, I have the same dreams like any stereotypical girl, that I often judge. I do crave having a relationship. I do wish for a guy to pamper me with clichéd romantic gestures. I do wish to have a perfect relationship with my girlfriends, have nightouts, pajama parties, sleep overs and gossip sessions. Instead I hide behind this statement, “I find all of this boring, reading books is my escape” well books are indeed my escape but these things are not boring. I just call them boring because I don’t get to do all of this. I like to have attention. When people appreciate me for my work, for my strength I like it. I don’t take criticisms really well but I am learning to. I am fairly independent yet not so independent. I fight my own battles yet I like someone to be around just to listen to me. I might say I am okay even when I am not but then I will tell you everything that bothers me if you say you have time to listen to me when I ask “do you have time? Can I rant a little?” 
I know I can manage everything in life because I have been doing that. But that doesn’t negate my needs and desires which I often mock at just to make myself feel comfortable. I am a needy girl but I won’t accept this fact. 
4. I think I’ll make it anyway.
Despite 1,2,3 I still think I can make it because I do have the best people in life. I do have the best of books to depend on. I do have an amazing family and career and teachers. Romance is not everything I am told. Maybe someday I will start living without the desire for romance because trust me rest everything I have. 
5. Why are you reading this? What you shall gain by reading about a girl like me?
You’re reading this because we’re all made of the same stardust and I want you to know that we all have our shortcomings, some we accept, some we don’t. But we all make it anyway. We all are blessed in so many ways even when we all have been broken at one point. Let’s just hold on to our dear ones and twist our lives through because walking straight is not our thing after all these years. 

Static moments, dynamic rush.

Dynamic memory rush
In static moments
I stood there
And time went by.
Frequency matched
Friends we became.
Disequilibrium led us apart
In my memory, we can never part
We might have lost each other
Memories dwell in corners.

Now is the time
I don’t remember us apart
Fb, whatsapp are in our cart
Sadly, I don’t remember being together
It’s just a few texts, likes, pictures
We have become doppelgangers.
Emotions, what are they?
Emoticons I recall.
Feeling is lost.
Yet I feel so much at loss.