We are the millennials, the people who read a lot and who belong to the hookup culture, whose values are often questioned and we are the generation that talks a lot about mental health. But we are also the ones who are constantly trying to better ourselves as humans. Working on oneself is a tiring and tedious process. While it is the most important thing to do to get through and get ahead in life, it is mentally exhausting as well.
Why working on oneself is mentally exhausting?
- Because you are constantly aware of your shortcomings as a person and you are constantly trying to overcome them, it creates self-imposed stress.
- Results of working on ourselves take years to show, you don’t become a saint in a day, and in the process, there are many instances where you feel like a failure and all your efforts seem worthless because you cannot help your shortcomings and insecurities and resulting behavior.
- Because you introspect a lot. It makes you question yourself way too much. You do not even realize it but you become very harsh on yourself and as well as become negative too, not about the situation, not about the people around you but about yourself, your feelings, your emotions and constantly feel apologetic to your loved ones for your behavior.
- Because you accept your faults and shortcomings and talk about your insecurities to your loved ones and while they help you get through most of the times, there are days and times when they tap into your insecurities and fears and hurt you either intentionally or unintentionally and you start doubting your trust in them.
- Despite all the 4 points above, you still love the way you love and sometimes people take that as you don’t have enough self-respect or you start questioning your self-respect too by putting up with the hurt which you know is eventually useful to you in your growth but still, you do.
What is the solution?
You breathe, you breathe and you accept yourself. You give yourself positive self-talk when no one else does. You got to be your own hero and you can be slow, you don’t have to win your battle against your shortcomings in a day. You are constantly a work in progress. So breathe. Eat well, sleep well, laugh well and cry well too. But don’t stop or close yourself, because it is this open space in your mind and heart which will help let the light of life enter you and brighten up your soul.
Only this much for today, feel free to share your own experiences and stories in the comment section below.
I have been pretty dormant with writing lately because I felt that my writings were getting repetitive and there was a loss of craft. One should stop writing when you know you’re not writing anything new or unique.
I don’t write fictional. I write what I feel, I write about the people I meet, I write about daily routine things that go around me and how I feel about them and package it for you to read them. And I have people in my life who validate that maybe someday I could be a writer but you know one should always be critical of themselves in order to learn and grow.
I remember being called as the “Happiness In-charge” in my group of friends because I didn’t care about the world. I used to do my own thing and be happy always. I remember being in depression and coming out of it on my own because I never stopped believing the beauty of the universe. I remember being a child always with maturity of a headstrong woman you would be afraid to mess with. But then I grew up.
I started feeling the need to be an adult when I turned 21. I remember thinking about life seriously. I remember letting insecurities take birth. I remember not being impulsive anymore. I remember not following my heart because it didn’t seem like a rational thing to do. I was being told that you need to grow up and be an adult but then I have realized that being an adult is tough when you let the kid inside you lock up and ask it to shut up. That’s where the kid gets sad and lonely and insecure that it affects your ability to be a successful adult. We are not born to follow a certain path that the society has expectations from us to follow. I have played my life safely throughout yet I remember taking risks wherever I could and being a happy being.
As time went by, my insecurities increased, I went into an abyss of self doubt, uncertainty scared me and future worried me. I forgot to live in the moment. I remember taking myself out on dates and I remember not needing any company to enjoy my time. I remember being called “the solitary bird” who could not care less and yet loved so deeply that everyone who came my way, smiled.
I happen to write this today because I took myself out on a date after ages and I met the girl who I had lost in the process of growing up. It’s not the time that’s passing by, it’s you and I.
Life becomes beautifully simple and easy to handle only if we stop seeking love outside and become love that we are. I forgot to love myself in between the time I was busy learning to grow up and behave like an adult. I can ace my research papers and career while I can enjoy Disney movies and sipping hot chocolate and be fit too because I love who I am and who I am becoming. And yes companionship is beautiful but if you don’t get it, doesn’t mean you have to be sad. I have been a part of quite a few toxic friendships and relationships but that does not mean I stop believing in the beauty and power of love. Time waits for none. Happiness seems scary but it’s pretty like the winter mornings.
Winters bring hope and warmth in life. Let’s bask in the morning sun and smile because that is what really matters.
Have a good day and take yourself out on a date. It’s quite fun. 😉
Till next time!
Once there were two girls
Girls who were classmates and liked each other.
One had a gang and was popular enough.
The other one was an insecure student with no friends and hence became the teachers’ pet.
She wanted attention. She wanted to be liked by others. She wanted to befriend the popular girl but then she realized she is a misfit and not needed around. She started reading novels for the first time back when she was 15. She never liked novels her mother got for her but read comics. Her attention span was short. She wanted to please people and feel accepted. She was messed up like any 15 year old and lonely. It took her sometime to befriend her loneliness and turn it into beautiful solitude. That popular girl remained her Faraway friend with whom she shared this really enthusiastic HI whenever they met.
Years pass by, both graduated from school and went to Delhi University. Coincidentally both joined girls’ college (different ones of course) and incidentally remained in touch after school. They met each other once or twice an year, had quality time and wished each other a happy birthday on calls. You know that’s a big deal in today’s time. Eventually they both became mutual admirers of each other.
They both were Faraway Soul Sisters. They did not know.
One fine day, they just start talking regularly and for some strange reason both go on a journey of self discovery. They both indulged in deep life talks and absolute shit too but it was all too good to be true.
The point is that humans evolve. The popular girl embarked on a journey where she evolved as an art and the other one became partially mature but mostly angry young ambitchious woman. Both are insecure. Both look forward to self discovery. And they are in this journey together in the present moment but they are not sure how long their companionship will last but sometimes there are moments you feel that these two are Faraway Soul Sisters who are as messed up as those crazy crows that flow. Yes flow. It’s not a typo. The sentence doesn’t make sense to make sense of the point you see. I don’t know how to end this blog post so I will go by saying
“Mac and Cheese is the greatest invention of all times.”
P.S. Thank you for being my Faraway Soul Sister.
To my dear Readers, I am sorry to disappoint you with such a weird ending but you see now movies are open ended so why can’t blog posts be 😉