Honeymoon For Home

I wake up with a smile on my face when the sun is about to rise and the sky has hues of blue and violet like the color of your shirt reflecting on the Marine drive of Bombay.

The clouds sing songs while they pour today while our hearts sing songs of love.

As the morning cup of tea touches my lips, I am reminded of the warmth of your touch while you held my hand while walking to the lake.

My bosom feels the compassion of love overflowing.

I am on my honeymoon.

I can’t expect too much from you. You can’t be my best friend, my lover and my wildest fantasy all at once.

Stories of lust speak to me on a soul level. In one complicated emotion.

But darling, you have been all of them at different points in time. And time my friend is relative and it is always borrowed.

Present is the only gift we have and you are my borrowed love from the universe.

We don’t talk routine anymore because of the warmth and heat we both radiate with our hotness and are to be blamed for Global Warming.

We are two misfits trying to love when life is busy.

Love in my very strong opinion is a personal thing and more than about us, it’s about our own selves and how we evolved together.

But as there cannot be a day without the night, we wouldn’t be who we are without the universe of us which we have created.

We are like two birds on a honeymoon reaching out to each other with our passions at it’s peak.

It’s the fireworks and explosions of our love that we both seek.

My neckline feels the traces of your fingers running over and there are temple domes rising on my skin.

I feel your hands pulling my waist while I make coffee in the kitchen.

I experience your presence while you are no where near me.

You are my home and I am on my honeymoon at a place longing for home.

While the home never existed at all.

Photograph by Neha Thureja

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Apocalypse

When I close my eyes, I feel the touch of your fingers on my lashes.

There is a scent of wet mud and hot sun in my room.

I have no room.

The feeling of your touch goes away as soon as it came as if it never was there and then, right in the centre of my chest a little towards the left, I feel a void that marks it’s existence every now and then.

I lose my sleep over the replayed flashes.

I have neither roll nor camera.

You come to me in the silence of the dark when sleep sits peacefully in my eyes.

You conquer. I am no longer myself.

Your being overpowers my existence and I become like a torn leaf in a storm that you bring and I go wherever you take me.

I have no where to go. You leave.

I dance to the full moon and sing to the sun rise and shine brightly like a fresh flower in the morning making everything around me romantic and exquisite.

One fainting breeze of you.

Spring of life becomes an apocalypse.

Dear one

Dear one,

Do you see the sun falling behind the dark clouds by the side of the sea?
I feel the warmth sun radiates from being behind like you steal a moment to kiss me on my shoulder and when I turn around to hold your hand, you are not there but your presence leaves it’s essence.

Dear one,

Do you see the moon shining bright tonight? The stars are all being lazy and hiding behind the darkness of the sky like you whose first love is darkness and lust is my presence. But you know that love always overpowers and you leave traces of your fingers on my nape while you submerge yourself in the darkness of your demons.

Dear one,

You know you are my drug and yet you fail me each time. And I, no longer rely on you for fleeting alive moments. I would rather be a monotonous muse.

The Girl with a tainted heart?

Hola Readers!

Today I am going to talk about a girl with a tainted heart. But why her? Because the girl here is a part of me. My friends made me realize that I am not much of a poet but a blogger. I tell stories in a beautiful way, I am told.

Well it makes sense, I have been a story teller since childhood. Given the fact that I was one of the most shy kids in my childhood with absolutely no friends but only acquaintances, my primary source of entertainment was to create stories in my head about myself and the people around me.

My favorite story has been that of me having a twin sister. I was an only child when I created this story. My little brother was not born then and maybe I was in LKG or UKG, a very fat girl used to be my desk partner in school and she used to be quite irritating. I decided to have some fun. I told her that for the next couple of days I will not be coming to school and but my twin sister will be coming and she will be sitting with you. Don’t tell this to anybody. She is very shy and likes to keep to herself so don’t talk to her or disturb her. And this silly thing worked. That girl didn’t talk to me for a good couple of days and I continued with this drama for two weeks I think and then I told her that I am back and my twin sister has gone to another school. She won’t be coming and studying in this school, she wanted to take a trial and didn’t like it.

You must be thinking why am I telling you this when I was supposed to talk about the girl with a tainted heart. Well, honestly there was no point, I was just reminded of this little thing so shared it.

Anyway, I have had a lot of stories playing in my mind since forever, some become reality while some just pass off as fantasies and some are stories with a big question mark.

I have been in quite a reflective state for a few days, weeks or maybe months. I have evolved as a person in such a way that from being one of the most mysterious, quiet introverted person I have become an open book like that of a coffee table book which you find lying in expensive coffee shops for reading while taking your coffee. I no longer keep my thoughts just to myself. I make sure to say out loud things that matter and also the things that don’t really matter at times.

I happen to be a person who loves to be in love and I write several love stories for myself with a few characters here and there borrowed from my real life and these are the stories with a big question mark. Because while writing such stories in my head, I tend to fall in love for real and get messed up. And I spend my spare time sorting out the mess I create for myself. This is so pointless and so much fun at the same time.

But why the girl here is with a tainted heart?

I am tired of telling you the above random stories, for this, stay tuned. I will write part 2 soon where you will know why the girl is with a tainted heart.

Till then, good night!

If I tell you

If I tell you that I still belong to you,
Would you dare to still listen to me?
If I tell you that it broke my heart to be mean with you,
Would you still have the audacity to come back?
If I tell you that you have broken me into pieces over the entire decade,
Would you still have the heart to ask me to take you back?
If I tell you that I still believe you even when I know you are lying,
Would you have the face to lie to me again?
If I tell you that I know that I am just a convenient distraction for you when you need love,
Would you still create psuedo dreams to manipulate me?
If I tell you that I have known each of your wicked schemes and still chose to love you,
Would you for once be real?
If I tell you that I don’t know how to unlove you,
Would you please break me and scatter away my pieces so that I can never pull myself together and trust you ever again?
Would you do this?

Prompt 3: Paridhi

There, the sun rose from the West making her glow like a Nightingale in the twilight,
Falling upon her the sun becomes red like that of Hibiscus.
Her smile hides treasures with a tenderness of the petals of a new bud,
She looks out on the Horizon to find the sky painted with her reflection,

She was a fairy tale who lived like a girl next door.

Knock on the door, my friend.

The fairy has been waiting for her Pizza since eternity.

Prompt 2: Use a line of a song in your poem

प्रेमिका: सुनो,

दूर आसमान में आज इंद्र धनुष दिखाई दे रहा है,
और मिट्टी की महक में आज मां का आंचल बहुत याद आ रहा है,

तुम मुझसे इतना दूर क्यों हो?

करीब आजाओ,
हाथ पकड़ो,
पास बैठ जाओ,
आंखों में देखते हुए खामोश रह तुमसे गुफ्तगू करनी है।

कवि: तुम खामोशी में गुफ्तगू की बात करती हो,
आखिर तुम मुझसे प्यार क्यों करती हो?
तुम ये जानती हो, हमारा साथ मुकम्मल नहीं हो सकता,
फिर भी क्यों तुम्हारा दिल है धड़कता?
प्यार मुझसे जो किया तुमने तो क्या पाओगी?

(प्रेमिका ये सुन कर, कवि की ओर देखते हुए मुस्कुराते हुए, अपनी कलम और कागज़ लेकर इंद्र धनुष की ओर जाती हुई, सूरज की रोशनी में गायब हो जाती है)

#NaPoWriMo

Fine Wine

I painted my imagination with you in mind,
Unfortunately, it was all black.

Cloud of thoughts that floats over the canvas has colors of us which merge to a rainbow.
Black was not your imagination, it was the sky of shackles keeping us apart.

The colours were long lost when you said ‘school is over’, each day, we now fight a battle of our own which ends in either white or black.

O my friend, how do I keep you?
You are young, wild and free,
Reach out and achieve the fame,
For souls like you can’t be tamed.

Why any of us has to be tamed?
Why do we need fame?
I am just floating with the wind of the universe
Sitting with you writing a verse.
Darling, let the wind paint the colors on the canvas of our lives,
The blacks and the whites are just feathers of time.
Love like ours is eternal.
Imagination is like fine wine.

Note: The piece where I am the muse and my muse is my co-author. This is not a poem. This is a WhatsApp conversation.

An almost all this while

We are a generation of almosts,

We almost achieved what we dreamt of,

We almost dated the one we loved,

We almost made it through.

We are a bunch of people who abandon things at the last leg.

We are the people who seek Independence while being co-dependent.

We are the people who love but don’t hold on to it.

We are the ones who believe that there is always a second chance.

We leave things in the hope of them coming around.

We are not alive. We are neither dead.

We are an almost all the while.

We are almost dead while being almost alive.