Serendipitous Musings

Posts tagged ‘love’

I have to let go.

How many times does it happen in life that we get attached. I am a person who gets attached very easily. I am attached to memories, places, books and most dangerous of all, people. Even though I read a lot and even though I am extremely well read about things in life, success, failure, loss, love, art, poetry and attachments and the art of letting go, the law of attraction and maintaining a balanced life. I am only human and I often fail at managing my emotions, I am the kind of girl who has been blessed with great career opportunities, amazing teachers, wonderful family and loving and supporting friends but I fail at relationships. I am not the kind of girl who plays the game of “hard to get”, I am an extremely straightforward and often confused person because my moral system says something else and my wishes often collide with my moral upbringing. I am an old soul in this new age. I love too much when I happen to love and that somehow ends up in hurt because the universe doesn’t like for me to be in love. When I graduated, it was so hard for me to let go of my college campus, almost every month I went back to my college just to sit under “my tree” where I finished reading so many novels over three years of graduation. I would leave my post grad classes early just to go back to my alma matter and have that cup of caramel coffee. I still haven’t let go of the place where I found myself, where I learnt to write poetry, where I had my first performance on a large scale, where I created so many memories and met so many amazing people. And now I have to let go of my alma matter. I am learning to move on. But you see, I am a slow learner and life wants me to be a little quick, it is making me part with a very dear friend and letting go has never been this tough. As we grow up, our attachments grow stronger and as we grow up, a lot of people leave. Some leave you for good and some leave you and they teach you a lesson. Some leave only to come back again and when these people come back, you forget that they can leave even now. Saying goodbye once is hard, saying goodbye twice is the hardest thing. But I have to let go now and I have no clue how will I do that but I will, someday.

 

My heart is like a child,

a very delicate child,

it does not know the art to let go,

it only knows hope.

Hope that angels exist.

Hope that love is forever.

It lives in a dream land and does not like when life wakes it up.

My heart wants some sleep, some sweet dreams.

But this child also knows it has to grow up,

it will have to parent itself.

It will have to let go.

It will have to let go.

I have to let go.

Lost Star

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It’s you and I sitting on a bench looking eye to eye,
Your fingers entwined with mine and there’s purple color in the sky.
The angels of the universe might have liked the purple of your shirt as much as I do.
Your presence offers comfort and fear because with you I don’t know if I am in my comfort zone because you’re challenging at every step. Loving you is like a ride I am not prepared for. Being loved by you is a dessert I have never tasted but want to but at the same time I am afraid of spoiled taste of beautiful single life.
You’re my vulnerability. Looking you in the eye sets my soul on fire. Your fingers put my heart in a frenzy choir.
You’re my biggest strength and my worst weakness. With you, my vulnerabilities are what I witness.
I wish I could tell you, I could never really have you.
I wish I could tell you, I could never let go of you.
You’re my lost star in galaxies of this heart.

Close

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Image source: The Internet

“Those brown eyes shine like the stars when they close,

Those fingers of yours fit into mine like feathers closing,

Those lips of yours are like rose petals kissing me good night.”

 

Dear love,

I like for you to be still in silence,

where the evenings close by the beach

and we are not in each other’s reach.

Let our hearts communicate through the universe,

and let our hearts remain open for love.

And when one day it’s raining, you’ll find me close in your arms.

And our love will create a home so warm.

And then those stars, feathers and rose petals are all mine

We make love as pure as red wine.

Butterfly

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With spring fading away and summer sun shining, there are clouds that are creating noise seeking attention because nobody seemed to talk about the beauty of rains and winds that spread heavenly aroma. When one is in love, one is crazy. And rains bring out this eternal hopeless romance within me. On days when I am chasing my dreams and looking at the dreamcatcher by my bedside with the sound of the rain and soft humming of the wind chime, I am reminded of you. You’re not here with me and sometimes you are a figment of my imagination. This perfect soul mate with whom I want to share my Rumi with. Sometimes you seem real like a fairy tale. You are the butterfly kissing the flower that my heart is and then flying off in the garden with your pretty yellow wings. While I am the sunflower and sometimes I look like a daffodil dancing in the rain when you slowly suck my nectar leaving your footprints all across. This tale of love is as bizarre as this unexpected rain. On some days romance doesn’t sound so vain. Close your eyes and let my love reach out to you through this rain.

Coffee

Coffee.

Coffee is something that is necessary for adult life. It’s a beautiful and necessary addiction. My mother often scolds me for having too much coffee but the thing is you can never have too much coffee like you can never have too many books. It’s a drink for work, for deadline completion, for exams, for leisure, for bonding with new people you meet. It’s a drink that serves purpose. It is a drink that helps us pretend that we have a purpose in life. And it’s tasty.

So when my mother tells me not to have coffee because it interferes with my reproductive organs, I do listen to her occasionally. I did change mindless addiction of 6 cups a day to 2 cups or maximum 3 cups a day but the thing is I cannot abandon this lovely drink. The thing is I don’t want to abandon this lovely drink. I haven’t had my first kiss because I am always busy kissing coffee mugs with my favourite book with me. Dear coffee, you’re the only true love in my life. Thank you for your existence. 

Anymore. Not anymore. 

Dreams that together we saw.Memories that we created, stand raw.

I don’t want you anymore. 

I would rather walk alone.
Lips that once quivered at your touch, now are dry.

Eyes that shone when you smiled, now often cry.

I don’t want you anymore. 

I would rather walk alone. 
Your hands on my bare back sent chills down my spine,

When we shared romantic moments over red wine. 

All is slowly fading away.

My heart is slowly closing its way, for you..

Where you once lived. 

Where I felt alive.

It’s tiring now. 

I can’t do it anymore. 

I don’t want you anymore.

I’m home

​Photograph source: Internet
Darling, 

You see that winter sun which rises but you cannot really see the sun. How the black of the dawn turns to the purple like your tongue when you kiss me, how that purple turns to light grey as we both close our eyes and are immersed into a feeling of passion for love towards each other. And then the sun rises and as I open my eyes, the first ray of sun falls on your face making it shine like a diamond. And that’s when I realise how much I love you.We walk barefoot on the dewdrops of the winter morning on that bright green grass. My heart is in your breath. As you breathe while walking beside me, it expands and contracts and I feel excited in your presence.Your warm hugs make the time stop. I, simply surrender because I am home in your arms.