Vacation Diaries

Hello Dear Readers,

How have you been? I hope you are doing fine and beating the heat of the summer with some cool dresses, chilled beer outings with your peeps, sexy ass sunglasses and planning a vacation to the hills or the sea.

I have finally completed my post graduation though just about two weeks ago. And within three days I was off to a “Vacation” with my mother to a place about which I had no clear clue. I said yes because on some days you love your mother more than you love your laziness.

Please note that initially I had planned on being one lazy human being who just sat in an AC room eating loads of junk food and reading my favorite romantic novels because when you’re 23 and single forever your boyfriends tend to reside among bookshelves and then you end up having such high hopes from guys around you that all of them fail and you prefer dating fictional men than actually saying yes to an almost normal guy. Anyway enough of digression, coming back to the point-I went to a vacation with my mother and the vacation was a week long meditation camp.

Did you guys just shrugged or laughed?

Well, a lot of you might think that this is the most craziest thing I could do. I thought the same though initially. I was upset more than anything and literally didn’t speak to my mother for the first two days at all. Locked up myself in the room and read Vikram Seth’s- A Suitable Boy (One of the top 10 longest books written as per Google and it has approximately 1500 pages)

But then I finally became receptive to what was being taught and meditation and the idea of peace that I had the best vacation so far. I would love to share what I did and how the start and the end were so different but since I couldn’t be lazy enough, I’ll be lazy in my blog writing. So I’ll skip the details.

But to give the blog post a good end-

“BHAI SAB MOH MAYA HAI. CHILL KARNE KA. TENSION LENE KA NAHI, DENE KA. AUR KHOOB ICE CREAM KHAANE KA”

Snapshot from the vacation. 😉

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Dear one

Dear one,

Do you see the sun falling behind the dark clouds by the side of the sea?
I feel the warmth sun radiates from being behind like you steal a moment to kiss me on my shoulder and when I turn around to hold your hand, you are not there but your presence leaves it’s essence.

Dear one,

Do you see the moon shining bright tonight? The stars are all being lazy and hiding behind the darkness of the sky like you whose first love is darkness and lust is my presence. But you know that love always overpowers and you leave traces of your fingers on my nape while you submerge yourself in the darkness of your demons.

Dear one,

You know you are my drug and yet you fail me each time. And I, no longer rely on you for fleeting alive moments. I would rather be a monotonous muse.

The Girl with a tainted heart?

Hola Readers!

Today I am going to talk about a girl with a tainted heart. But why her? Because the girl here is a part of me. My friends made me realize that I am not much of a poet but a blogger. I tell stories in a beautiful way, I am told.

Well it makes sense, I have been a story teller since childhood. Given the fact that I was one of the most shy kids in my childhood with absolutely no friends but only acquaintances, my primary source of entertainment was to create stories in my head about myself and the people around me.

My favorite story has been that of me having a twin sister. I was an only child when I created this story. My little brother was not born then and maybe I was in LKG or UKG, a very fat girl used to be my desk partner in school and she used to be quite irritating. I decided to have some fun. I told her that for the next couple of days I will not be coming to school and but my twin sister will be coming and she will be sitting with you. Don’t tell this to anybody. She is very shy and likes to keep to herself so don’t talk to her or disturb her. And this silly thing worked. That girl didn’t talk to me for a good couple of days and I continued with this drama for two weeks I think and then I told her that I am back and my twin sister has gone to another school. She won’t be coming and studying in this school, she wanted to take a trial and didn’t like it.

You must be thinking why am I telling you this when I was supposed to talk about the girl with a tainted heart. Well, honestly there was no point, I was just reminded of this little thing so shared it.

Anyway, I have had a lot of stories playing in my mind since forever, some become reality while some just pass off as fantasies and some are stories with a big question mark.

I have been in quite a reflective state for a few days, weeks or maybe months. I have evolved as a person in such a way that from being one of the most mysterious, quiet introverted person I have become an open book like that of a coffee table book which you find lying in expensive coffee shops for reading while taking your coffee. I no longer keep my thoughts just to myself. I make sure to say out loud things that matter and also the things that don’t really matter at times.

I happen to be a person who loves to be in love and I write several love stories for myself with a few characters here and there borrowed from my real life and these are the stories with a big question mark. Because while writing such stories in my head, I tend to fall in love for real and get messed up. And I spend my spare time sorting out the mess I create for myself. This is so pointless and so much fun at the same time.

But why the girl here is with a tainted heart?

I am tired of telling you the above random stories, for this, stay tuned. I will write part 2 soon where you will know why the girl is with a tainted heart.

Till then, good night!

Letters and Diaries

Today I spilled ink on my diary while writing this piece and it made this look even more beautiful. Sometimes it is okay to mess things up, it is okay to let the ink spill, let the tears fall and let laughter echo through the life of us because these are the things making it real, raw, and unique. Through the spillovers masterpieces take birth.

Letters and Diaries

Letters and Diaries are so precious. They are the most beautiful form of human emotions. Practically, they are just non living things with strings of words put together but they always connect to you in ways that make you feel life in exquisite forms. They are nothing but ink and paper lying on the table with some words that are just written on them and yet they are so full of life, stories, people, and a rollercoaster of emotions altogether. They are as alive and as dead as we may feel while reading them or writing them. It’s funny how letters and diaries are just like life and death at the same time.

I will come for you tonight in my diary while waiting for your letter.

Fine Wine

I painted my imagination with you in mind,
Unfortunately, it was all black.

Cloud of thoughts that floats over the canvas has colors of us which merge to a rainbow.
Black was not your imagination, it was the sky of shackles keeping us apart.

The colours were long lost when you said ‘school is over’, each day, we now fight a battle of our own which ends in either white or black.

O my friend, how do I keep you?
You are young, wild and free,
Reach out and achieve the fame,
For souls like you can’t be tamed.

Why any of us has to be tamed?
Why do we need fame?
I am just floating with the wind of the universe
Sitting with you writing a verse.
Darling, let the wind paint the colors on the canvas of our lives,
The blacks and the whites are just feathers of time.
Love like ours is eternal.
Imagination is like fine wine.

Note: The piece where I am the muse and my muse is my co-author. This is not a poem. This is a WhatsApp conversation.

Heart on the sleeve

To love is the most personal thing ever. You just identify one human and make him or her the subject of your affection. We human beings are born with a heart and in this real world of fake people and transient forevers, this heart of ours gets beaten up often and we become this cold distant humans whose hearts are locked up because we are too afraid of love and feeling vulnerable. That feeling when your soul is absolutely naked in front of someone you love is unsettling, it gives you a pittish feeling in the centre of your chest and your bosom feels ached to be hugged and held tight but that doesn’t happen and you continue to live like that feeling that void and carrying it with you wherever you go. You don’t know the beloved’s heart. You may know it and it may break your heart but you still choose to keep going on feeling strange and having that heart on your sleeve because for a moment Rumi’s words heal you and you believe in universe and destiny and Ted Mosby who taught you to never give up on someone you love even when it completely destroys you and there you are smiling and going on as if nothing has happened while your heart lays exposed like never before. I have got only one thing to say here-

Dear heart,

just own it like you have always owned it. Afterall hearts were made to be broken. Keep showing off the sleeve.
Or maybe just fade off slowly while you bleed with your heart on the sleeve. But never lock the heart inside. Never.

Universe is musical

Universe is musical. Nights are calm and beautiful with music pouring in the silence where the silence is silent with notes of music playing around as if they are hugging. As the sun sets and the moon arrives shining bright radiating poetry. The universe is musical with stardust pouring from heaven when the bird coos early in the morning on a winter when the sun is about to rise. The trees sing songs of a home in a whisper which you listen when the heart and the mind are not separate but one in a moment. The wind speaks to me while it kisses the folds of my hair, making love to my eyes making them close with the anticipation of beautiful dreams in reality. The universe is musical when the music of the heart syncs with the musical silence of my room where the dream catcher reminds me of discovery of the music of the heart which was all within me. Universe is a personal concept making love with life in the silence of music where the silence silences.

Sing because life is all about feeling the notes of love floating. :’)

Fairy Tales

There she was, sitting by the window

Listening to the fairy tales her mother told her.

She would watch the birds and become one of them.

There she was, listening to Harry Potter and pictured herself as Ginny falling for Harry at the age of 12.

There she was, watching Disney princess movies

She thought of herself as the princess.

Her dad made her the princess in real life.

There she was, being Hermoine in her 12th. She became one for real.

There she was, being Mitchie from Camp Rock in her graduation. She became one. “This is me” became her favorite song.

There she was, falling for a guy and getting her heart broken. She turned to Geet from Jab We Met.

She is her own favorite person. A broken heart makes her smile even more.

There she was, growing up, becoming a woman,

She became a warrior princess instead. She fought her battles. Won some. Lost some. She remained the princess nonetheless.

She again fell in love and created a fairy tale.

She pictured her favorite love story with the guy she loved.

She sees the reality. Knows fairy tales don’t really exist. Yet she lives in one.

Her life has always been a fairy tale even when it was not.

She is a fairy tale.

She is her own fairy. She has a world of her own.

Who says fairy tales aren’t real? They are.

For her.

All she did was to dream one.

How I spent the first romantic day of 2018

I woke up to chilly winds and beautiful sky. I was busy taking in the cold outside and got late for college and providing some more gratitude to the traffic jam, had a sassy moment with my professor. I ended up reaching to the class before my professor did while we both were stuck in the same jam. It was kinda cool.

And in the first break, abandoning my bag and other belongings in the classroom on 3rd floor, I went to the garden and it was drizzling, I removed my shoes and walked barefoot on wet grass making my feet feel chilly and then I called up my mom because I felt like talking to her about how romantic the weather is and she being a savage sassy mother shut me up with her wit and made me rethink the idea of Romance.

I bunked my last lecture to read about the city I love the most and sat on the wet grass in touch with the universe and nature. I didn’t feel cold because sometimes warmth of the words is enough and then I went to the lake on my way back home and ended up taking a 2 hour walk around the trees and the lake watching the sunset.

When you’re in love, you feel things differently and then for momentarily you just become love. All you radiate is love. That’s who I became today.

Happy Winters People!