Why we appreciate what we appreciate?

I was surfing through Facebook and found a link from the movie: Liberal Arts where in that scene this was discussed among two individuals, why we read what we read? And it got me really curious. So I asked this question to 12 people and got 4 good answers, some responded with puns, some shared information on the internet. However I am gonna talk about 4 personalized responses that I got, Sonal, my friend from graduation years has nicely put things in the following message:

“I appreciate what I appreciate, because it establishes its importance or relevance in my life, and I want to acknowledge its presence. There is, so to speak, some connection or level of familiarity involved. I read/watch/listen anything because

a) I’m genuinely interested in that

b) It makes me feel good

c) I want to read/watch/listen to it

d) I care about someone who loves that particular thing

e) Sometimes you don’t have an option”

And Paridhi, my dearest mental twin puts it beautifully in the following lines:
“Because if we don’t appreciate what we want to appreciate, we are lying to ourselves and hiding and depriving the world of the truth.
And if we don’t read/watch/listen that which we wish to read/watch/listen, then we’re wasting and insulting the gift of eyes, ears, body and mind given to us by our mother nature.”

So the above two answers pretty much sums up everything everyone else said or shared. What is my take on this? Why am I writing a post about it?

I think that we appreciate what we appreciate because of how that external stimulus makes us feel. We all have emotions of happiness, sadness, bliss, disappointment within us which come out when we are faced with some external stimulus and that stimulus could be books, movies, people and anything and everything in this material world. We must acknowledge the fact that we all are different individuals with different thought patterns, ideologies and opinions and even though we are all made of the same star dust, we are all different beings relating to similar things at different points in time. You may absolutely hate something I love and I absolutely hate something you are passionate about but then you and I are really close friends so I might as well want to give that book, song or movie a second chance and that may not be the case with you because you’re you and I am me and we are all okay and justified in whatever we do but at the same time, nothing gives us the right to demean the choices the other human being makes. You might love to talk about cars and I obsess over coffee too much and we can have coffee talking about cars. There is always a way to live life in such beautiful patterns if only we twist our rigidness a little. And you know what there could be very little random things that could be the reason for your happiness and you appreciate those reasons and then the people around you raise eyebrows because they find you weird. I am often called “The very weird girl” in my group of friends and family. I often get dialogues like “how do you have friends”, “no wonder you’re single”, “you’re unrealistic”, “woman you’re crazy” and the list of dialogues is endless. But then aren’t we all weird and strange and quirky in our own little ways. I have hardly come across what do you call “normal” people because we are differently wired yet born with the same heart and it is the heart that matters. We appreciate what we appreciate because it makes our heart feel something and that’s what life is all about. The job of the heart is not to just pump blood. I read something that truly touched my heart
“You have to break your heart many times before it actually opens.”

-Rumi
So there will be disagreements regarding a lot of things in life and a lot of bonding over similar famdoms but then it is the heart. It is always the heart that plays the game and wins. There is no defeat when the heart feels.

What’s the whole point?

People are weird. One day someone would say that you mean the world to them and next day they could be absolutely mean without any reason. And I just experienced this. Honestly, if this would have happened few months ago I would have been mad or hurt or angered but now I have reached a stage in life, where if someone wants to stay, stay and I am glad and thankful. If someone wants to leave, leave and I am glad and thankful. If you leave without a reason, I would be upset for a while but then life goes on and it doesn’t matter in longer scheme of things. Instances like these make me wonder about the bigger things, what is the purpose of life anyway and how many temporary people are we supposed to meet till we actually figure out life? I love too easy and I let go even easily because if you don’t want to be around, very well, because I have got super high self esteem to let you mistreat me or disrespect me. And at the same time, if you offer little bit of love and respect, I am ready to walk over oceans for you because I don’t do things in moderation with calculative moves. I have lived my life with heart more than the head because you see I have strict parents and the moment my heart goes towards something irrational my mother comes around to save the day. What is the point of this blog post anyway?

People are important and people leave and stay as per their own state of mind. Be thankful to the ones around and wish well to those who leave. As far as you are as an individual is concerned, just keep moving on like devanand sahab-

“मैं ज़िन्दगी का साथ निभाता चला गया, हर फिक्र को धुंए में उड़ाता चला गया”

Good night people! Sleep well.

To all the good men out there.

To all the good men out there,

A very happy international men’s day.

I am just a girl in my 20s coming from a background of girls’ college, a student of economics and a voracious reader and after years of mentally dating fictional men all my life, I write this to all the real good men out there. Feminism comes natural to me. I am one of those headstrong women who often believes in killing a man’s ego if it harms me in some way. Yes, I am the women most men don’t like because I talk back. And I do not like a lot of men either because in general they disappoint me with their patriarchal attitudes and sexist comments in an everyday conversation. (Point to note: I don’t like a lot of women either. But more on that later.)

But at the same time, I would not generalize here. Because I believe in the fact that good men exist too. They exist in the background mostly because they’re too smart to come in the race. To all the men who are honest, to all the men who respect themselves, their goals, ambitions and people in their lives, to all the men who treat women as equals, to all the men who acknowledge that they are messed up instead of putting up a macho show of ‘men don’t cry’ and to all the men who are emotional and sensitive, to all the men who don’t cheat, to all the men who make our lives beautiful, to all the men who are willing to support, learn, grow together and to all the men who don’t form the part of the general race, you’re special and you’re appreciated. 

We all live in a society where being a man is a privilege in itself because you don’t have to go through the ordeals of struggles women go through because of conventional norms, in a society like this, if you’re a man standing up for what is right and not conventional, my love and regard goes out to you. 

Being a man is also a difficult task if you’re good at heart. So if you find that you’re being tested in life, know that world is not that bad a place and there are people who appreciate your existence. 

I wish all of you best in life. 

-A random girl in her 20s who doesn’t like men in general.
Post script: to all the boys out there in the process of becoming a man, be a gentleman if you can, there are enough stupid jerks already in the universe. And to all the men, who consider that they are entitled to have their way just because they are men, think again. Try becoming a human being instead of a man or a woman and life will be beautiful for you and for people around you. 
Have a wonderful day.

Let’s talk about fears

Fear is something that is discussed widely in literature, movies, music, paintings and various art forms. At the same time, it is prevalent in our daily lives. You might fear your boss, your parents, yourself sometimes and you might fear disappointment, heartbreak, failure at work and you might fear the mice if you’re a girl like me who just isn’t comfortable with them around even though you know that such a fear is pointless. 

There are some rational and irrational fears we all have in our lives. And if you ask me, none of the fear is rational because again fear is also a state of mind. Nowadays I find everything as a state of mind. All the definitions of love, hate, success, fear, failure, happiness, disappointment are all a state of mind. Our thoughts are quite intense when we take a closer look at them and if analyzed properly, they are extremely simple. 

Fears exist because of our thought pattern about a certain thing. I have always been comfortable alone but at the same time I had to sleep one night alone in the house and I had such profound fears. But then eventually I fell asleep comfortably after acknowledging the feeling of fear and how that is irrational because I do believe in the power of Universe strongly. Sometimes just spelling out loud that the fear exists is enough to let go of the fear. We are humans with colossal capabilities and we must never forget that we are gifted with infinite strength to life. 

Let the sunshine on you brightly. It’s a beautiful Sunday morning!
Have a good day. 

Till next time.

About being a narcissist

Narcissism is such a negative word because narcissism in its core form is indeed negative. However, self love is the right term to use about the things that I am going to talk about today. 

You see, we live in a world full of complexities, cut throat competitions and judgements. ‘Judgements’ my friend. And there’s an evil brother of judgements called ‘Expectations’. So you see where I am going. Now, in a world like this where you disappoint a lot of people around you and if you hate stupidity and fakeness and dumb people, about 80% of the population around you disappoints you. And since we the so called millennials who are ruining a lot of industry business because news says so, the business we are helping is the libraries. Millennials read a lot and a recent report showed that our generation goes to library more often than the older ones. So we are learned good for nothing as per the society standards. With social media becoming an integral part of daily lives, it is important to look good all the time but you know what I don’t and I acknowledge the glorious mess that I am because if I could be perfect on social media all the time I know that I am being fake and the people out there know who is being fake and pretentious and who is being real. It is important to acknowledge the mess that we are and that we go through. We don’t have to prove anything to anyone. We just have to keep being ourselves. And man, that’s hard because you remember the siblings I talked about? Judgements and Expectations.

So here is the thing, I love myself a lot and I own up to my decisions and mistakes. And I do care about myself first and then others because if I am not happy myself, how can I be the reason for your happiness. I can only give what I have. And in order to be there for you, I need to be there for myself. And people often find me selfish and you know what, I am okay with it. Because I can only be selfless by being selfish. And my suggestion to you is don’t give a fuck. You have limited fucks to give in life, choose your fucks wisely, said Mark Manson. 
And to all the people who going to judge me on the basis of this post, well darling, I don’t care about your judgement unless you have constructive criticism to offer. I choose my criticisms wisely. It’s high time, you should too. 

And always believe in the power of love. If you have to be Savage, be Savage with love. Because there is nothing that love cannot achieve. 
Have a good day.

Coffee Romance

My relationship with coffee is eternal. 

On my good days, it’s mere existence is sufficient while on bad days, I crave to die in the sea of coffee being embraced by its warmth. Sometimes I wish it could hug.

I have been wanting to have a cup of coffee at Perch, in Khan Market for approximately two years now and I was waiting to go there on a very special day with a special person. That was the place I had in my mind where I wanted to have my first romantic date with the best coffee in town. Little did I know that I would end up romancing the coffee because as that cream touch my lips, it’s perfect like first kiss with a lover. My friends often tell me that I romance the idea of first kiss way too much and practically, it’s unexpected and messy and not as beautiful as you write it in your fantasies but then who would know? Fantasies do come true when you just start living the fantasy. 
It was a romantic date. With coffee. 

And a special person with whom I shared some moments of laughter. I don’t think I can romance real people while having kissing scenes with coffee. 

Here’s to a beautiful coffee. And a beautiful human bearing with a crazy girl with Disney fantasies in life.

Dear beautiful human, 

My love for you is weirdly insane, in those winks and in those tickles and in those high fives where creativity meets with professionalism and in those sleepy eyes to high giggles, in those flat note songs and lame jokes. Let’s walk together, laughing at the craziness life is and just swing around the yellow line at the platform. Thank you for borrowing time because time is always borrowed and premium is paid in memories that stay. 

Stay.